God Bless Those Muggles
by dude18
Summary: Hermione and Fred are alone and things get a little hot. One-shot. Don't like don't read. Mature content.


**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter. This is OOC, so if you don't like it, don't read it. For mature audiences only.**

**P.S. Hermione is not cheating on Ron. They are not together.**

Hermione was reading in the Weasley's living room when she heard a strange noise coming from one of the rooms upstairs. She was alone in the Weasley house as the family had to go make a run to Diagon Alley, and having been tired from the night before, they allowed her to stay in their home by herself until they got back.

She could have sworn she was alone until she heard the noise upstairs. Grabbing her wand, she slowly crept up the creaky stairs of the Weasley home and found nothing unusual until she saw the movement of feet from one of the rooms. Wand at the ready, she slowly crept towards the door and opened it.

She had just enough time to duck before a strange object whizzed over her head and out of sight.

"Bloody hell Hermione what are you doing here?" The asker was Fred Weasley, who was clad in only a pair of boxer shorts and an odd expression on his face,

"I could ask you the same. I thought everyone left to Diagon Alley?"

"I slept in and stayed behind. Making new inventions is tiring work."

"I'm sure it is," Hermione said. "What was that by the way that practically scraped my head off?"

"Oh, that was just one of our newer products. It still has some kinks in it," Fred explained.

"Oh really?" Hermione asked curiously. She walked into the bedroom and sat on Fred's bed. "What's it supposed to do?"

"You don't want to know."

"And why not?"

"It's too dirty for your innocent, narrow-minded self."

Hermione scoffed, insulted. "Try me."

"Alright." Fred walked over to a drawer and pulled out a small cylindrical object. "George and I have been thinking and we realized that there are a lot of blokes and chits out there that aren't going to get some arse no matter how hard they try."

Hermione raised her eyebrows at this.

"So, we've started to experiment and are trying to form a line of sex products, from potions, to charms, to toys. Currently, we've been trying to create a replica of a penis and an object or spell that will stimulate the clitoris. We're focusing on pleasure for the ladies at the moment."

"You mean you're trying to create a vibrator or a dildo?"

"A what?"

"I'm sorry to break it to you Fred, but the Muggles have beat you to it."

"What do you mean?"

"Muggles have sex toys, such as vibrators and dildos, that do the exact same thing you're trying to do with magic."

"Really?" Fred said excitedly. "That's absolutely excellent! George and I can use them for our studies! Do you happen to have any that I can borrow?"

Hermione's eyes widened and she looked away from Fred, a deep blush forming on her cheeks.

"Um… No," Hermione lied.

"You're a terrible liar do you know that Granger?" Fred said, nudging Hermione teasingly. "Go on then and get your naughty toys. If you're a good girl I wont tell anyone you have them."

Hermione looked at Fred and sighed before getting up and leaving the room. She went into the bedroom she shared with Ginny, opened her trunk, and pulled out her guilty pleasures: a purple vibrator and a very realistic dildo.

With the toys behind her back, she slowly walked back into Fred's room and quietly laid the toys on the bed.

"Whoa," Fred said, picking up the dildo. "This is huge. It looks just like mine."

Hermione just rolled her eyes as Fred chuckled to himself.

"Who knew sweet innocent Hermione Granger was such a naughty naughty girl."

"Oh shut up. It's not that big a deal."

"Oh this is a very big deal my sweet. I guess what they say is true: it IS always the bookworms."

Annoyed, Hermione grabbed her dildo from Fred's hand and said "Can I have my toys back?"

"You said you'd let me borrow them."

"I changed my mind."

"Oh well, then I guess I'll have to tell everyone that little Hermione Granger likes to play with herself."

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me."

Sighing heavily, Hermione let go of the dildo and watched as Fred observed it. After a few moments of silence, he asked, without looking at her: "Do you use this often?"

"I don't think that's any of your business."

"Come on, I already know you use it. Might as well tell me how often."

Hermione just looked at Fred before saying "Every other day."

"You dirty girl!"

"It helps relieve stress and it has health benefits such as-"

"Yeah yeah whatever Granger." A few more moments passed. "And this gives the equivalent pleasure of a real cock?"

Red-faced, Hermione replied "Yes."

"Interesting." Fred put down the dildo and picked up the vibrator. "What about this?"

"That is placed on the clitoris and it vibrates. The vibrating sensations give an orgasm that surpass that of one given by a man."

"Wow, this is absolutely brilliant! Who knew Muggles could be so incredibly intelligent."

When she narrowed her eyes at him, Fred said "No offence."

An awkward silence followed for several long minutes. "Hermione, would you mind showing me how you use these contraptions?"

"Excuse me!" Hermione stood up and looked at Fred incredulously. "Have you lost your mind? It's bad enough that I've showed you my most personal objects, now you actually want a demonstration? I don't think so."

"Oh come on Hermione, it'll only be for experimental purposes." Fred attempted to give an innocent smile but was failing miserably.

Hermione snorted. "No."

"And I thought you were a Gryffindor", said Fred, shrugging disappointedly.

"You're not going to fool me by jabbing at my courage Fred. I'm not stupid."

"Alright alright. I guess I'll have to experiment on my own". And he dropped his boxers right in front of her.

Hermione gasped in horror and covered her eyes, quickly heading for the door. "Honestly Fred have you no shame?"

Fred grabbed Hermione's wrist and pulled her against his chest. "Tsk tsk. Little Granger is being a bad girl now. I guess now I'm going to have to tell everyone your secret."

"No…"

"Then be a good girl," he whispered in her ear. Hermione shivered as his breath tickled her ear and gasped when she felt his tongue lick the length of the shell of her ear.

"Fred, we shouldn't be doing this," Hermione said bravely. She stepped away from Fred's hold and looked him square in the face.

"Granger stop being a prude for once and have a little fun. We're all alone in this house, no one ever has to know. This will be our dirty little secret."

Hermione considered this for a moment. This was very out of character for her, and she couldn't believe she was even thinking about doing something like this. But Fred was right, no one ever had to know about this…

Hermione made her decision. She walked over to the door, closed it and locked it, before pulling her t-shirt over her head and onto the floor. Taking a deep breath, she walked back over to Fred, who had a look of utter disbelief on his face, and brought his lips down on hers.

It took only a moment for Fred to get over his momentary shock before he pushed Hermione onto the bed and kissed her back thoroughly. Wasting no time, Fred began to pull down on Hermione's pants and threw them on the floor next to her shirt. He began to kiss a trail down her neck, causing the girl to emit soft moans and then he kissed back up to her mouth, licking her lips and stroking his tongue against hers.

It was not long before Hermione could feel Fred's member start poking into her thigh, increasing her arousal tenfold. At this, Fred detached his lips from Hermione's and grabbed the 2 toys.

"Show me how you use it," he commanded, handing her the dildo.

Hermione put it to the side for a moment before sliding her panties off and revealing her most private part to Fred. Her pussy was glistening with juices that coated the curly bush that covered her mound. Fred inhaled sharply.

Hermione grabbed 2 pillows and made herself comfortable, leaning back on them for support against the headboard. She placed her feet flat on the bed and spread her legs nice and far, giving Fred an excellent view of her pussy. Grabbing the dildo once one, she licked the tip of it to lube it up a bit before slowly inserting it her into her vagina.

Hermione's breath caught in her throat as the thick object filled her up. It felt _exquisite_. She pushed it in until it could go no further and took a moment to appreciate the sensation that this object was giving her. Fred watched in awe and slowly started to stroke his own member.

Hermione fucked herself with the dildo slowly at first and then began to pick up the pace. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, moans started to escape her lips, and she began thrusting her hips against the plastic penis. The bed began to squeak as the speed of her thrusts increased. She pumped herself nice and hard, feeling her orgasm build within her. She opened her eyes and looked at Fred, who's eyes were devouring her body and copying the speed of her movements on his own cock.

With the little strength she had, Hermione said "You want to help me?"

Fred nodded eagerly, unable to form coherent words.

"Pump me." Hermione grabbed Fred's hand and attached it to the dildo, allowing him to do her dirty work for her. She guided him until he was pumping at a speed that she was satisfied with and then she grabbed her purple vibrator. Turning it on, she put it on medium and laid it on her throbbing clit. She let out a yelp at the added pleasure the vibrator gave her and knew she was moments away from becoming undone.

"Fred," she panted, "I'm going to orgasm."

Enthused by these words, Fred started pumping faster and faster, both into Hermione and on his own cock.

Overwhelmed by the speed of the dildo and the vibrator, Hermione let out a cry of ecstasy as she came, throwing her head back and her back arching off the pillows. She grabbed the dildo from Fred and kept pumping herself until her walls quit squeezing her toy and her convulsions slowed down. She slid the dildo out of her pussy, her juices coating every inch of it, dripping onto Fred's sheets and covering her thighs.

Too much for poor Fred, he too came undone and squirted his seed all over Hermione's open thighs.

The 2 just stared at each other for several long moments, needing some time to get off their high, Hermione in shock that she had actually done that with Fred, and Fred more ecstatic than he had been in a long time.

Fred was the first one to speak. "Wow."

Hermione, coming to her senses, sat up straight and closed her legs. She found her panties and put them on. Her face was flaming red; whether it was from embarrassment or from her post-orgasm phase Fred couldn't tell.

"Now… You know how they work. If you tell anyone about this, even George, I swear I will make sure you are unable to wank off ever again. Agreed?"

Fred grinned. "Agreed."

"Good," Hermione said before getting off the bad and putting her clothes back on. Just then, they heard on a knock on the door.

"Fred? We're back from Diagon Alley. Have you seen Hermione?"

Hermione and Fred looked at each other in horror.

"Um, just a minute mum!" Fred said. He hid the sex toys under his sheets and put his boxers on. He had just put them up when the door opened with a curious Mrs. Weasley in the doorway.

She saw Hermione and said "Hermione dear what are you doing? And Fred put some clothing on!" She was looking at the 2 very suspiciously.

"Oh um, I was just-"

"Hermione was just giving me a lesson on Muggle contraptions mum," Fred said giving Hermione a wink that Molly could not see.

Mrs. Weasley smiled. "Hermione dear, how sweet of you! Lord knows the child could use it."

Hermione laughed nervously as she and Mrs. Weasley left the bedroom.

Fred sighed and sat on his bed as the door closed behind them.

"God bless those Muggles."


End file.
